


Measuring Up

by Crematosis



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Discussions of Circumcision, Flirty Bucky Barnes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23791069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crematosis/pseuds/Crematosis
Summary: Bucky will take any excuse he can get to see Thor naked.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Thor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54
Collections: MCU Kink Bingo Round 4





	Measuring Up

**Author's Note:**

> For the Circumcision square for MCU Kink Bingo

Mornings were Bucky’s favorite time of day. He liked to spend the pre-dawn hours sitting in the kitchen with Natasha, gossiping about the rest of the team over a strong cup of coffee.

It was probably the only time when the Tower was ever quiet. Most of the Avengers were not morning people. Bucky only sometimes saw Tony or Bruce wandering in from an all-night engineering binge or Steve on his way out the door for an early morning run.

But this morning, Bucky could barely hear Natasha with all the shouting going on in the other room.

Instead of going for his usual morning run with Sam, Steve had apparently decided to wake Tony up to go training with him. It didn’t seem to be going all that well from what Bucky could hear.

He sighed. “They need to just fuck already and get it out of their systems.”

“I’ll say,” Natasha muttered. “I’m tired of all the sexual tension. One of those boys needs to man up and do something about it.”

Thor poked his head into the kitchen. “I heard shouts from down the hall. Is everyone alright?”

“We’re fine here, Thor,” Natasha said with a thin smile.

Thor cocked his head. “It sounds like the Captain and Man of Iron. Are they in any sort of trouble?”

Bucky waved a hand dismissively. “Nah, don’t worry about it. They’re just having another one of their dick-measuring contests.”

“I was not aware this was a Midgardian ritual,” Thor mused. He reached for his belt buckle.

“Don’t you dare,” Natasha said warningly. “I don’t want to see any genitals before breakfast.”

“I do,” Bucky said.

Natasha gave him a withering look and rose from the table. “I’m going to talk some sense into the other knuckleheads. If I come back and find body fluids anywhere, I’m shoving your dicks in the toaster.”

Thor looked scandalized. “What has the toasted done to merit such treatment? And how will we ever enjoy Pop-tarts again once we have tainted it with our flesh?”

Bucky winced. “Just…ignore her. She didn’t mean it. And anyway, there’s no body fluids involved if you just whip it out for a quick peak.”

Thor raised an eyebrow. “You really wish to see how you compare to me?”

“Not that I think there’s any comparison, but yeah, I want to see.” He licked his lips.

“Very well.” Thor undid his pants.

Bucky stared. He had expected Thor to be well-endowed. He was, after all, basically a god. And a god with a tiny dick would be laughable. But he hadn’t thought of anything past size. “Damn, you’re uncut. I’ve never actually seen one of those up close and personal.”

Thor frowned. “Uncut?”

“Yeah, I’ll show you.” Bucky pulled down his pajama pants.

Thor recoiled. “If I had not seen Stark’s member with my own eyes, I would have assumed there to be a difference in Midgardian anatomy. But I know that to be untrue.”

“When did you-never mind, who hasn’t seen Stark’s dick at some point? He can’t keep his damn pants on when he drinks.”

Thor put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “My friend, who has committed such an atrocity to your person? If they are not already dead, I would go with you to hunt them down.”

“Oh no, they’re long dead now. And it’s really not that big of a deal, Thor. Plenty of us were circumcised back in the day, even Steve.”

“How can it not be a big deal? I would expect you to have suffered a great deal of pain.”

“I’m sure it hurt, but I was a baby so I don’t remember any of it.”

Thor shook his head. “I do not understand the rituals of your people at all. How can such a thing be done to a child?”

Bucky shrugged. “According to popular belief, circumcision helped with hygiene and the prevention of infection. And it was supposed to prevent masturbation. But joke’s on them because that never stopped me.” He grinned crookedly. “I’m not sure if there’s any difference in sensitivity, but what say we find out?”

Thor put up a hand. “I would not risk the toaster.”

“Right. Well, why don’t you come on up to my room and we can explore more thoroughly?”


End file.
